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What do I do when I’m sick? I google “cat beards” on google images and here were some of the best.
omfg
Science experiment: Who is easiest to summon?
Egberts?
Pizza?
John Green?
A vegan?
The only way to find out is to reblog and wait. Wait patiently. Just wait. It will be good I promise.
fuck you vegans aren’t your source of entertainment you animal killers.
and the vegan wins
*dies*
the cat that just casually fucking hiccuped and probably summoned the dark lord
omg the way that last baby hops!
THE LAST CAT IS SO CONFUSED IT IS ACTUALLY ME LOOK AT THAT FACE.
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?
if you ever feel bad about yourself remember that george bush was once informed that 4 brazilian people were killed in iraq and he responded ‘how many is a brazilian’
I KEEP THINKING ABOUT DINOSAUR BONES LIKE SOME OF THEM ARE SO FUCKING BIG YOU KNOW PEOPLE USED TO DIG THOSE UP AND THINK THEY WERE FROM DRAGONS THE LARGEST SKULL EVER FOUND WAS OVER 8 GODDAMN FEET LONG FROM A TOROSAURUS THATS FUCKING INSANE IM SO PUMPED ABOUT THIS I LOV E DINOSAURS LETS GO BURN DOWN THE POST OFFICE
in england we don’t say “i love you,” instead we’ve built an entire culture around being repressed where expressing your feelings is extremely frowned upon and i think that’s why we drink so much.
the fact that girls can wear pants but guys cant wear skirts has confused me for most of my life
the fact that guys can walk around topless when it’s hot but girls can’t has frustrated me for most of my life.
Win.
yeah but guys in scotland can do both i mean
that guy has the tiniest nipples i’ve ever seen
Tumblr user Pizza is both scary and entertaining
I mean,
really?
I’m not sure if I should be scared or impressed.
scared
Guys. When the 11th doctor regenerates, they should name the episode:
“The Clock Strikes TWELVE”
Right guys? Right?So how many people have to like this before it becomes canon.
What’d be even better is at some point in the episode a clock falls and hits the Doctor.
Literally, THE CLOCK STRIKES TWELVE
tomfelton-andthe-cumber-cocks:
“they won’t let me eat,wont let me sleep..”
“who?”
“…..them.”
Oh.
I AM CRYING
I remember reading about how EA was trying to sell the rights to make The Sims into a movie and everyone was like “…how?”
Now I get it
It’s a horror movie
People wake up one day to find themselves transformed into puppets of an invisible malicious trickster god
First the bizarre happenings start:
someone becomes obsessed with stealing lawn gnomes
another person has a compulsion to stick their head into a strange device and emerges obsessed by grilled cheese sandwiches
people pee themselves despite being next to a bathroom because some mysterious unseen force makes them study cleaning
people find themselves stuck in rooms because they can’t step over common household objects
a young man doing some nighttime stargazing mysteriously vanishes
then their god turns sadistic
pool ladders mysteriously vanish, leading to several drownings
doors vanish just as a house fire begins
an elevator plummets several stories as a couple starts to get it on
a Murphy Bed gruesomely folds up, crushing the people inside
and that man who vanished while stargazing returns…but with something growing inside of him…and vague memories of a grotesque creature named Pollination Technician
the horror has begun
